lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
