Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize