O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
