Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
