It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
