oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
