On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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