I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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