You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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