Screwed.edu
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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