your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
