hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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