WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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