I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
