Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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