I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
