So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Tornado booty call.. dedication
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
