Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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