hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
