hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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