my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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