Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
