I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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