Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize