clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
