i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
