You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
