I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
