Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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