I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
