yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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