I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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