Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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