i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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