I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
