just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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