its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
