Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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