I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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