nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
