so explain again why im purple
no
You can't motorboat a personality
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
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The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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