I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm always down for nudity.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
