what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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