And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
and she was petting her beer can
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
