i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You were trust falling into bushes
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
