Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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