Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.

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(240): Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names. http://tfl.nu/nfcq

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(480): View more from Arizona

so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic

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(480): so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic http://tfl.nu/3cem

Replies (94) Good night (9032) Bad night (2225)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?

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(778): Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter? http://tfl.nu/1qb1

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.

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(410): I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve. http://tfl.nu/3z74

Replies (75) Good night (4956) Bad night (1250)
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(360): View more from Washington

He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.

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(360): He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one. http://tfl.nu/lrzn

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(804): View more from Virginia

They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.

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(804): They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source. http://tfl.nu/hphy

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I love you more with every blowjob.

(1-202): View more from Washington, DC

You should write for Hallmark.

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(202): I love you more with every blowjob. (1-202): You should write for Hallmark. http://tfl.nu/2s1x

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(561): View more from Florida

Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future

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(561): Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future http://tfl.nu/peo6

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(716): View more from New York

It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving

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(716): It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving http://tfl.nu/l18z

Replies (1) Good night (1332) Bad night (578)
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(517): View more from Michigan

well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month

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(517): well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month http://tfl.nu/fhen

Replies (5) Good night (731) Bad night (1713)
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(415): View more from California

I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.

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(415): I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not. http://tfl.nu/y17v

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven

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(215): Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven http://tfl.nu/y2y3

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.

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(860): Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage. http://tfl.nu/sckj

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(775): View more from Nevada

He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese

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(775): He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese http://tfl.nu/ug4c

Replies (3) Good night (357) Bad night (558)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Bjs and tacos. That's my life.

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(603): Bjs and tacos. That's my life. http://tfl.nu/p631

Replies (1) Good night (520) Bad night (205)

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