i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way