another moral hangover. fuck.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves