Texts From Last Night

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  (319): View more from Iowa

  addddeeerrraaaallll.

  (641): View more from Iowa

  ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.

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  (319): addddeeerrraaaallll. (641): ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help. http://tfl.nu/xlcd
  Replies (14) Good night (1518) Bad night (546)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!

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  (724): Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face! http://tfl.nu/2men
  Replies (24) Good night (1319) Bad night (4747)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.

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  (814): No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock. http://tfl.nu/ts69
  Replies (20) Good night (2831) Bad night (1243)
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  (01): View more from

  He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.

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  (01): He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates. http://tfl.nu/mdzx
  Replies (6) Good night (2816) Bad night (848)
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  (631): View more from New York

  he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality

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  (631): he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality http://tfl.nu/b7nh
  Replies (8) Good night (928) Bad night (2145)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?

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  (804): I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in? http://tfl.nu/kpil
  Replies (4) Good night (575) Bad night (1344)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis

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  (512): Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis http://tfl.nu/fz62
  Replies (6) Good night (2172) Bad night (638)
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  (949): View more from California

  One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.

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  (949): One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers. http://tfl.nu/qlpq
  Replies (6) Good night (1838) Bad night (516)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.

  (1-305): View more from Florida

  God Bless cinco de mayo

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  (305): Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila. (1-305): God Bless cinco de mayo http://tfl.nu/78zu
  Replies (2) Good night (1194) Bad night (439)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.

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  (678): It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes. http://tfl.nu/rtfu
  Replies (3) Good night (1209) Bad night (459)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.

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  (812): Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome. http://tfl.nu/9uj2
  Replies (9) Good night (1514) Bad night (533)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.

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  (314): If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life. http://tfl.nu/s141
  Replies (3) Good night (776) Bad night (366)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.

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  (718): Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year. http://tfl.nu/pj0t
  Replies (5) Good night (516) Bad night (513)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is

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  (262): My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is http://tfl.nu/wa13
  Replies (5) Good night (717) Bad night (388)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?

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  (816): Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone? http://tfl.nu/wu6u
  Replies (6) Good night (791) Bad night (340)

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