the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.