There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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