Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
