1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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