i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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