what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
