omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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