i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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