sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
