i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
