I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
