No, drunk sperm still make babies.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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