Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
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I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
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I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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