someone owes me an orgasm
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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