I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Do vagina's smell?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
