I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Less talking, more tequila
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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