What did we do last night that was yellow?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
